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My predictions for 2009
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Author Topic: My predictions for 2009  (Read 7271 times)
joshbrenton
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« on: December 29, 2008, 13:33:39 EST »

The new year is merely a few days away, and like that great fraud... I mean "prophet" Nostradamus, I have consulted with the mystic powers to divine what will await us in 2009. Behold the future!

- I predict that liberals across America will be very angry and bitter when Barack Obama doesn't instantly improve everything and fails to transform the country into the happy hippie wonderland they desire.

- I predict that Hillary Clinton will be the Dick Cheney of the Obama administration.

- I predict that after a disastrous presidency, George W. Bush will go into hiding and will not be seen again for at least 10 years. Dick Cheney will return to his coffin until the Dark Lord summons him to bring about Armageddon.

- I predict that in the wake of Proposition 8, bullshitting busybodied bureaucrats will enact more laws and proposals to restrict the freedoms of the American people.

- I predict that Sarah Palin will get her own talk show. Still hazy as to whether or not it will be just as dumb as other daytime talk shows, or even more stupid.

- I predict that under Barack Obama's presidency, the government will become much larger and more intrusive.

- I predict that there will be violence between Israelis and Palestinians (okay, that one's kind of a given).

- I predict that the film "Watchmen" will kick major ass.

- I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck.

- I predict that while Conan O'Brien will prosper when he takes over "The Tonight Show", Jimmy Fallon will fail miserably when he takes over Conan's spot.

- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).

- I predict that in spite of repeated promises that our troops will be withdrawn from Iraq as soon as possible, someone will pull from their ass a foolish reason as to why they need to stay longer.

- I predict that liberals and conservatives will continue to respond to one another with hatred and harsh criticism instead of trying to find common ground (that one is a definite given).

- I predict that "The Simpsons" will become funny again (I know it's a longshot, but that's what the stars told me.)

- I predict that no matter what comes our way in 2009, we will all try to make the best of it and live our lives as well as we can, helping others and trying to make things better.

Happy new year.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2008, 17:20:32 EST by joshbrenton » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2008, 21:15:57 EST »

I'm a dick, and I hate dreams, so here goes.

- I predict that liberals across America will be very angry and bitter when Barack Obama doesn't instantly improve everything and fails to transform the country into the happy hippie wonderland they desire.

Probably not, I suspect we will just see more excuse-giving.  That being said, American liberals are going to continue flirting with fascism, so fuck them.

- I predict that Hillary Clinton will be the Dick Cheney of the Obama administration.

No, Dick Cheney actually liked Bush.

- I predict that after a disastrous presidency, George W. Bush will go into hiding and will not be seen again for at least 10 years. Dick Cheney will return to his coffin until the Dark Lord summons him to bring about Armageddon.

Cheney has a very skilled and politically positioned daughter.  In 6-8 years history will look fondly upon Cheney, as many of already do have a lot of sympathy for the old man.  In my heart of hearts I have no doubt he was the one who ordered the plane shot down and I think that his following rabid need to justify the conflict comes out of that feeling of guilt.

- I predict that in the wake of Proposition 8, bullshitting busybodied bureaucrats will enact more laws and proposals to restrict the freedoms of the American people.

They are Bullshitters, and they aren't busybodies.  Make no mistake, this is a play for power from both sides of the isle in America.  Years later these days will be a mark of shame upon North American memory.

- I predict that Sarah Palin will get her own talk show. Still hazy as to whether or not it will be just as dumb as other daytime talk shows, or even more stupid.

I actually think Palin is witty and quite bright, but was caught flat-footed.  This is not unlike what happened with a certain democrat out of Virginia who told stories.  They both spent years being kinda corney and folksy as a way of being beloved, and it doesn't work so well nationally.

- I predict that under Barack Obama's presidency, the government will become much larger and more intrusive.

No shit, same under Mac's or even the libertarians.  America is more okay with totalitarianism, so the government is going to move that way.  I'd be shocked if it didn't.

- I predict that there will be violence between Israelis and Palestinians (okay, that one's kind of a given).

Cha-ching!  You win a prize!  At least Obama took that page from Bush and has spent the crisis time on vacation.

- I predict that the film "Watchmen" will kick major ass.

This is not a prediction, this is a statement of fact.

- I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck.

WTF?  Sonic doesn't suck so long as you're a waterbrain.

- I predict that while Conan O'Brien will prosper when he takes over "The Tonight Show", Jimmy Fallon will fail miserably when he takes over Conan's spot.

I suspect neither one is really going to be a force that those shows used to be.

- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).

None of them are insane.  Okay, Jong-Il is (well, he's probably/maybe dead), but the other three are making very solid power-plays.  Chavez needs to distract the population from his miserable economic skills, Iran as a whole is doing a pretty good job at stringing out time until they can nuke-bluff and move into the real halls of power, and Castro has a bad hand and has to play it out.

- I predict that in spite of repeated promises that our troops will be withdrawn from Iraq as soon as possible, someone will pull from their ass a foolish reason as to why they need to stay longer.

Already done!  Obama had no plans to seriously withdraw anyway, that was just suck in the moonbat rhetoric, as the one thing they need to do to solidify the region is one thing that he can't do because he's not going to go toe-to-toe with Turkey.

- I predict that liberals and conservatives will continue to respond to one another with hatred and harsh criticism instead of trying to find common ground (that one is a definite given).

I suspect not, 2012 may well be savage as well, but by 2016 Americans will have to either wise up or watch the whole thing go kaboom.

- I predict that "The Simpsons" will become funny again (I know it's a longshot, but that's what the stars told me.)

It was funny?

- I predict that no matter what comes our way in 2009, we will all try to make the best of it and live our lives as well as we can, helping others and trying to make things better.

Not bloody likely.  All is a relative term, and I don't intend to live my life well at all.  Booze, carousing, and self-destruction are my highest priorities.  I am told I should show up for work once in a while to continue my downward tend, but with any luck I can sell my soul good and proper and reach the agreement that so long as I am right about things I'm allowed a three beer lunch.  I guess I will help others though, so long as they pay me or are otherwise interesting.
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joshbrenton
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« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2008, 22:39:48 EST »

Interesting responses, though I'm a little confused by this one:


Cheney has a very skilled and politically positioned daughter.  In 6-8 years history will look fondly upon Cheney, as many of already do have a lot of sympathy for the old man.  In my heart of hearts I have no doubt he was the one who ordered the plane shot down and I think that his following rabid need to justify the conflict comes out of that feeling of guilt.

What exactly are you trying to say here?
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« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2008, 23:46:05 EST »

Little Cheney is positioned at present to have a good run at being the first openly lesbian Veep.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Cheney

She's a cuddle, she's also very witty and very, very aggressive.  Remember how she blew up My Man Edwards?  Sheet.  She does a good interview, and, like Arney, will pull heavily from the democratic base.

Were I a man who was in a position to name the next 'pub veep, she'd be up there, though I'm more like to say 2016.  I don't think the G&L movement -must- be democratic, as they have done nothing for them.  The 'pubs are going to rebrand over the next eight years, and if they move away from the religious party to the party of law, order, and finance she'd be a trophy in their case worth having.

If you are a civil rights person, the democrats have put that issue up for contention again, 'pubs would be a fool not to play for it.
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Legion
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« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2009, 15:22:45 EST »

Probably not, I suspect we will just see more excuse-giving.  That being said, American liberals are going to continue flirting with fascism, so fuck them.

I think you mean totalitarianism, rather than fascism. Unless you can point to the part of American 'liberal' thought that says that violence is a good thing, rather than a regrettable necessity, which is the position of pretty much every other major political ideology.
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« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2009, 16:10:07 EST »

It has yet to manifest the act of redeptive violence, but certainly it holds that there are those who live amongst the american people who have betrayed the american people.

The certainty of internal enemies with evil goals kinda naturally leads to acts of violence.
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« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2009, 20:18:02 EST »

It has yet to manifest the act of redeptive violence, but certainly it holds that there are those who live amongst the american people who have betrayed the american people.

The certainty of internal enemies with evil goals kinda naturally leads to acts of violence.

Yes, but that's not an exclusively fascist trait, and I'd argue that a lot of ideologies have room in them for accusations of treachery against the collective body. There are very few ideologies that don't aspects that you could criticize in that way.
At the moment I'm not seeing any reason to look at your use of the word 'fascism' as any more than a convenient, one-dimensional buzzword. There are many aspects of American 'liberal' thought and behavior that can be criticized, but invoking Godwin's Law doesn't do anything to help your position.

((Fascism's position on violence was more extreme than it being 'redemptive', because that still presents it as being a necessary evil. Fascist thought sees violence as a good in and of itself, mainly because it weeds out the weak from the strong in a form of natural selection. I don't think you can fit that comfortably alongside the American 'liberal' commitment to welfare.))
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wodan46
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« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2009, 22:23:53 EST »

- I predict that liberals across America will be very angry and bitter when Barack Obama doesn't instantly improve everything and fails to transform the country into the happy hippie wonderland they desire.
Why would we want him to implement that?  I'm less interested in happy hippie wonderland and more interested in a government that occasionally lapses into sanity.

- I predict that Hillary Clinton will be the Dick Cheney of the Obama administration.
No, Biden will be the Dick Cheney.  Hillary will be the loyal opposition, just like... wait, the Republicans didn't have anyone like that, all they got were yesmen.

- I predict that in the wake of Proposition 8, bullshitting busybodied bureaucrats will enact more laws and proposals to restrict the freedoms of the American people.
Doubtful.  See, people like Obama value things like rights and freedoms, including people's right to any money they have earned.  However, I suspect that a lot of money earned by corporate executives and other rich people is not earned, but inherited, stolen, or created via interest from the two prior.

- I predict that Sarah Palin will get her own talk show. Still hazy as to whether or not it will be just as dumb as other daytime talk shows, or even more stupid.
I predict that at some point in the future Palin will debate Hillary.  Hillary will incinerate Palin via eye-beams.

- I predict that under Barack Obama's presidency, the government will become much larger and more intrusive.
Given that the population under it becomes larger and society more nuanced, is that really a bad thing?

- I predict that there will be violence between Israelis and Palestinians (okay, that one's kind of a given).

- I predict that the film "Watchmen" will kick major ass.
Correct

- I predict the release of a new Sonic the Hedgehog game that won't suck.
Doubtful.  The designers can't help but slap on terrible mechanics, un-needed genres, and unwanted characters over and over and over and over and over and 'is incinerated by Hillary's eyebeams'.

Also, take a look at the cover for the next game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sonic_and_the_Black_Knight_Cover.jpg

Just what everyone asked for, Sonic swordfighting.  Would it kill them to release another no frills 2D sidescroller, albeit with excellent graphics?  Yes, it would, apparently.


- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).
Until Hugo Chavez researches necromancy, Castro will not become more insane, and will merely continued to decompose.

- I predict that in spite of repeated promises that our troops will be withdrawn from Iraq as soon as possible, someone will pull from their ass a foolish reason as to why they need to stay longer.
It is unlikely that we will withdraw ALL our troops soon.  It is believable that we could withdraw MOST of our troops soon.

- I predict that liberals and conservatives will continue to respond to one another with hatred and harsh criticism instead of trying to find common ground (that one is a definite given).
Obama has repeatedly offered to do bipartisan stuff, but his biggest accomplishment in cooperation will be establishing a good relationship with powerful Democrats in Congress to assist him in enacting policies.  Clinton did not do that when he tried to establish healthcare, and it doomed him.  That is why Obama is congressional powerhouses like Hillary and Daschle to cabinet positions, to ensure that the executive branch and legislative branch keep in steady contact.

- I predict that "The Simpsons" will become funny again (I know it's a longshot, but that's what the stars told me.)
No

- I predict that no matter what comes our way in 2009, we will all try to make the best of it and live our lives as well as we can, helping others and trying to make things better.
That is hilarious.  People do not make the best of things, do not live the lives as well as they can, and they do not trend towards helping others.  That is why your ideas regarding libertarianism don't work, and why communism doesn't work, and why every other system fails to work to the full degree.  You have to make a system that takes into account that people will be people if you want any chances of succeeding.
« Last Edit: January 05, 2009, 00:21:03 EST by wodan46 » Logged

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« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2009, 01:06:11 EST »

Legion, I suspect we mean very different things when we use the term fascist.

I suspect the problem is that the term both has been used by statist leftists and statist rightists.  While it referred to both Nazism and Mussolini's Italy, those two forms of government are vastly different.  It's probably not suprising that coming from an Italian-centric school of thought, I naturally refer to Mussolini's fascism as "real" and call Hitler's fascism "National Socialism", and Spanish as beneath notice.

Italian fascism is not socially darwinistic and glorified in violence, so much as the belief that violence is acceptable in the process of centring the state.  While prima facia it may manifest in external aggression in the same way as germanic or Spanish fascism, it contains at it's heart the idea that this is being done for your own good, and an intellectual straightjacketing of the population.

It is the intellectual straightjacketing combined with high-handed idealism which manifests itself in the democratic party, whereas the republicans manifest something more purely imperial, impericism from the democratic standpoint is done without the concept of regional power-plays or glory to the empire but as a natural evolution of held beliefs.

We must stand against genocide, or whatever, and the capitalists seek to murder and pillage our society, to arms!  The world can and should be one government and equality will reign, all we must do is accept that the government is ruled by good and noble kings.  Fascism is inherantly attractive to socialists who discover that people don't all agree on utopia, and who are willing to make that trade of temporary pain for (theoretical) long-term gain.  It makes perfect sense if you believe the ends justify the means (whichever party you pick in present american politics this is clearly a held belief), and there are internal enemies with power who seek to cut down the required change for the rebirth of the society.

I would actually argue that the chief difference between the two parties in america is one believes the empire is crumbling, and the other is assured it will continue, hence fascism v. imperialism.

I freely admit that I shudder in my beds when I hear people calling out to ancient leaders who did horrific things as if they were noble kings of old, as this is the very bedrock of the fascist movement.  At least the communists generally see things as going forward.

I mean, really, FDR was a damn monster.  The more I think about anyone calling him noble, the more worried I become.  I doubt any German would say "Hitler was okay, except for the jew thing", yet many democrats speak praisingly of FDR (whatever my complaints about banking and fraud, order 9066/9102 internment and relocation were essentially mirrors of similar germanic policies).

Maybe it's just having too long to read up over the xmas break which has reignited long-standing militancy, or the realization that American democrats are not going to come to bat for the citizen rights of the homosexuals in the states, but my "give" on many of these issues with the american left has been exhausted and I no longer find myself able to mince nice words.
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« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2009, 05:35:43 EST »

- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).
Until Hugo Chavez researches necromancy, Castro will not become more insane, and will merely continued to decompose.
Um, if that's the case then it appears you have info the Cubans are keeping confidential (in the middle of the article).  Despite the funny points you get for this one, there's been no word yet on Fidel's death.  He "allowed an election" when his brother took control in February of '08.

Otherwise, fun reading.  How large will the hump on Hillary's back be if she's concealing a freaking laser cannon to kill Palin with?  And will anyone dare make fat jokes when she gets it?
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« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2009, 09:17:47 EST »

Quote from: joshbreton
- I predict that Castro, Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-Il and Hugo Chavez will become even more insane (another given).
I don't.  As others have pointed out Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-Il may not last out 2009.

The others will not be crazy because they won't have the money.  The drop in oil prices is causing difficulties in Venezuela and Iran because extracting oil in those places is not that profitable compared to elsewhere.  This is likely to continue for a few months at least.  So, we will be spared a little of their nuttiness for a while.  Unless that is someone challenges them, in that case all bets are off.

Ahmadinejad may yet lose the election in Iran this year.
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« Reply #11 on: January 05, 2009, 15:56:46 EST »

I predict in December 2009, the Dolphins will once again make it to the playoffs, and they will win their first playoff game in many years the following January.

Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins,
Miami Dolphins number one!
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wodan46
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« Reply #12 on: January 05, 2009, 16:43:11 EST »

The others will not be crazy because they won't have the money.
Exactly.  The mass drop in oil prices just saved us a boatload of trouble (even if the drop was due to other problems).  Russia, Venezuela, Iran, and the rest of the middle east thought they were hot stuff when the oil prices were above 4$ a gallon, but now that the prices are down, they don't have the money to be as aggressive externally, nor can they use their wealth to quiet internal conflict.  The best part is that Americans have chosen to keep in the conserving mindset even after the prices dropped, meaning that it won't just bounce back.
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« Reply #13 on: January 05, 2009, 21:59:34 EST »

I predict that self-righteous libertarians will continue to sneer at the behavior of liberals and conservatives as if they never engage in these behaviors themselves.
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joshbrenton
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« Reply #14 on: January 05, 2009, 23:24:10 EST »

I predict that self-righteous libertarians will continue to sneer at the behavior of liberals and conservatives as if they never engage in these behaviors themselves.

But we do it in a novel, innovative way.
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